The Road to Fabulous.

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Mental Masturbation Pt. 1

Is Your Brain Getting Off, but You’re Getting Nowhere?
Mental Masturbation and How to Break the Addiction Pt. 1

Right about now, you’re either laughing and nodding in recognition or you are completely offended.

~ If you are the former- read on- have I got an ‘a-ha’ for you!

~ If you are the latter, well, what can I say, I’m sorry I’ve offended you but we’re all adults here. I never thought I’d be writing anything with the word masturbation in it either.

I can’t remember the first time I used this term, but I actually thought I made it up. It perfectly describes a state I used to get into (and still sometimes do) with friends where we spend ridiculous amounts of time analyzing ourselves and our thought patterns and trying to ‘figure out our lives’, hoping to have some big revelation that will solve everything.

So, as I sat down to write this article (the title popped into my head yesterday while coaching a private client), I googled “mental masturbation” and guess what~ it’s in the Urban Dictionary!

There are about 10 definitions, but this is the perfect one for the purposes of this article: (for more amusement, go read the other definitions esp. the sample conversations)

Mental Masturbation “The act of engaging in useless yet intellectually stimulating conversation, usually as an excuse to avoid taking constructive action in your life.”

Here’s the part that’s really interesting to me “usually as an excuse to avoid taking constructive action in your life.”

That was the revelation I had a few years ago. I was spending hours on the phone with friends, talking about different ideas for our businesses, projects we were really attracted to and things we detested. We shared quotes from books we were reading, knowledge picked up from gurus and we came up with insights about what was holding each of us back in our businesses and our lives.

I would finally press ‘end call’, hundreds of minutes later, my ear burning red and hot, letting out a deep, exhausted but deliciously satisfied ‘ahhhhhh’ and think, “That was great, I’m so excited about all of these new ideas and I can’t wait to get started on them.”

Just then, my husband would walk in the door or it was time to go pick up the kids from school, my ‘work day’ was over and what had I really accomplished?

Nothing. Nada. Zero. Zippo.

That’s right. I spent countless hours having these amazing, intellectually stimulating conversations but I wasn’t taking much action. Mental masturbation.

Here’s my theory:

We’ve become addicted to the “a-ha!” moment. When the light bulb goes off as we sit in a seminar or listen to an audio program or read a new book - it’s like an orgasm! It feels soooooo great! We’ve figured “it” out, the missing link, the nugget of knowledge that will make everything fall into place, our life will make sense, the world will finally recognize our greatness and our bank account will triple. Ahhhhhhh, that feels good.

When we put the book down, return to our office or try to get back to work, it feels boring. We don’t feel that same energy, the high is gone. So we go in search of the next ‘a-ha’ moment, the next intellectual orgasm.

You can break out of this cycle. You can stop sabotaging yourself when you realize that it’s just your brain, doing it’s busy, monkey-mind stuff that keeps you searching for the next high.

I’d like to make a distinction here: let’s differentiate Masterminding- which is an amazing tool to increase your results and add rocket fuel to your business and your life from mental masturbation. You’ll know you’re addicted to the intellectual high, if you’re having lots of great, stimulating conversations but your business isn’t growing or your life seems strangely unsatisfying.

Here’s what to do:

If you can plug into the ideas and projects that are right in front of you today, create your own urgency and excitement instead of waiting for your brain to get turned on, if you can turn yourself on about your life and your business right now.

That’s when you’ll find your magic G-spot. (G= Greatness, Gorgeous & Grateful)

I’ve got some tips for you next time on how to break your addiction to mental masturbation, stop avoiding taking constructive action and turn yourself ON in your business and your life. Grrrrrrrrrrr, baby!

~Have a faaaabulous weekend, Dahhhhlings~

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This, Not That!

I never do this, let someone else write in MY space.... but this is soooo good, I had to share it with you. This article was written by my good friend & Mojo Retreat partner, Melani Ward. I LOVE the way she describes what we are doing and just had to share it with you.

“Eat This, Not That” Melani Ward Style

Have you ever heard of the book “Eat This, Not That”? I picked it up at a friend’s house the other day and I realized something very quickly. I don’t need that book. My friend was testing me to see if I knew the right answers and I got them all right. That’s because food is something I know. I know the calorie, fat, protein and carb contents of most foods and you’ll never hear me say healthy and bagel in the same sentence…though I still love to eat them. I know it so well that I actually thought it was nuts that a book like that would be as popular as it is. Doesn’t everyone know this stuff?

Evidenced by its success, I guess not.

So, shortly after this I was working on something for our upcoming mojo retreat and I realized one fatal flaw I made in sharing what this is all about to everyone. Bear with me a second while I bring it all together.

Has there ever been a time in your life when you were being considered for something like a date with a guy or a job or anything where someone had to choose between you and someone else? Have you ever said this to yourself before…”If he picks her then that is just confirmation that I am NOT the right person for him because if he likes her, he’d never like me. We are too different.” Or, “If she gets the job over me then this was definitely not the right position for me, this company could not want me for the same job as her. We are too different.”

Well, this Mojo Retreat happens to be one of those times. I thought that when it came down to people deciding which events to go to this fall that the choices would be so obvious I wouldn’t even need to point out the differences. I was wrong.

We have received multiple emails and even phone calls from people telling us that they could only pick one event to go to this year. Some picked our totally awesome and unique retreat and some picked other, much larger events. But the common theme is that they wanted to do both. I even had one person email me today to let me know that she is still deciding between ours and another, which drove the point home even more that we needed to express to you- super clear super fast- why The Mojo Retreat totally rocks and why joining us for 3 solid days in beautiful Boulder, CO will be the best thing you do for yourself all year…and as a result the best thing you've EVER done for your business.

So, here’s my take on “Eat This, Not That” aptly named “This Retreat, Not That One”.

This Mojo Retreat	That One
Intimate only 14 women entrepreneurs total	Massive 200-1000 people at big round tables where the likelihood of you getting any significant time with the leader is slim to none
Fun Pedicure parties, hiking, yoga, cocktails, night on the town & totally unique kick-ass content	Predictable Sit down, listen, take notes, eat, go to bed, get up do it again the next day
Unique Moving meditations, numerology & empire charts, oh my!	Unoriginal Pay extra to get “special” treatment, wait in line to get a picture taken with the speakers, get a binder, collect business cards, make small talk, go to bed wonder what the heck you’re doing there…again.
B.A.L.L.S. Yes, you’ll get some at this one!	BALLs Oh sorry, you’re not getting any at this one. You'll have to be at The Mojo Retreat if you want some B.A.L.L.S.
Boulder, CO where there are more bikes, runners and Olympic athletes than there are cars, mountain vistas take your breath away, the fabulous food, friendly people and our 5 star spa & hotel will too. (our cozy meeting room has a couch & a fireplace!)	Convention Ctr, USA where the meeting rooms all look the same & you'll never know what the weather was like because there aren't any windows...AND it's Freeeezing all day in the room!!!
Emphasis on YOUR business There is no “collective you” in this equation. We will get to know your business inside & out and mastermind brilliant game plans designed specifically for YOU (with a capital Y.O.U.)	Emphasis on “types” of businesses Spend 3 days talking about the “collective you” or listening to the lucky few who get to talk about THEIR business while you say to yourself “what about me?”
Networking You will be one of only 14 women who are coming to create a massive breakthrough in their business and want to connect with each other, support each other and to establish contacts that will provide inspiration & resources for each other for years to come.	Networking Cozy up to 200-1000 of your closest friends, get sized up, put their cards in your pocket and wish you could remember who's who when you finally unpack your suitcase.

I hope this helps you decide which event is the right one for you, if you still have a question or concern, simple pick up the phone or send us an email and we'll be happy to clarify. 800-440-9221 or question@sandygrason.com

But don't wait! There are only 16 days until the Mojo Retreat begins.

Are you feelin' it?

Click here to register now and we'll see you in Boulder!

»http://www.howmuchmojo.com/retreat«